Over Your Ed/Script
is in his pristine bathroom, taking a bath. He reaches up to get a loofah and vigorously scrubs at his arm. He then looks closely at it and is horrified by the small speck of dirt he sees. Edd: "Oh dear...STUBBORN GRASS STAINS!" ---- is in his shower. Eddy: singing "Bop bop bop bow bow boo bowp, bowp bowp ba beep bap boo!" picks up a bar of soap. "Yeah! Wow!" soap slips out of his hands and goes skyward. "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" soap falls into his mouth and slides down his throat. He shortly thereafter begins foaming at the mouth. ---- are in Ed's very dirty, dingy, grody, disgusting bathroom. Ed stands in the middle of it. Ed: "Hmm. Now what did I come in here for?" shrugs and walks off. ---- is carrying sugar and a jug to a stand, which collapses as he approaches. Edd: "May I help?" Eddy: "Stand back, let the pro do it." fixes the stand "Time to quench thirst! For cash." leans on the stand, and it collapses. ---- is measuring sugar. Edd: "One, two three grains of sugar." see that Eddy has nailed the leg to the table. Ed: up "Am I late?" Eddy: "Just in time, Ed!" reaches under the table and gets a sign. "Put this sign up!" sign reads "En-O-Gee Drinks. Ed: "Like this?" Eddy: "No! Higher!" he helps Ed adjust the sign, his arm is in Ed's armpit. He sniffs it, and the stench makes him leap back a few feet. "Ed! You smell like a gym bag! When was the last time you had a bath?" Ed: "I forget." comes over to Edd, who is still measuring the first spoonful. Eddy: "So Double D, those drinks ready?" slaps Edd on the back, causing Edd to spill his spoonful. Edd: "Eddy, please! I'm counting the sugar!" adds some sugar and goes back to counting while Eddy walks off. Eddy comes back with a bag full of sugar and pours it all in. "1...2...4...5...6...75...76...77. A perfect measurement!" adds it in and stirs. Ed: "Can I help?" gets a whiff but doesn't say anything. Ed: up the sugar jar "Add some of this!" tries to pour it in, but Edd protects the drink, so it all gets spilled on Edd's hat. Edd: "Please, Ed, that's too much sugar." puts the sugar bowl down. Edd sniffs it and is shocked by the odor. He then sniffs the drink and looks accusingly at Ed. Edd: "Go away please, I'll taste it." Ed: "Okay." Edd: Ed leaves "Smelly smelly smelly." pulls out a gas mask and some air freshener. ---- is standing next to Eddy, who is pinching his nose shut. Eddy: Edd, who is pouring drinks "Hurry it up, Double D." pours a last cupful and takes a sip. The sugar hits him almost immediately, and he takes off like a rocket into the sky. Ed: "Whoa, look at him go, Eddy!" points at Edd. This action requires him to lift his arm, and Eddy gets a full-on blast of his armpit stench. Edd: hyper "Great beverage!" Eddy: "Huh?" Edd: "Customers, Eddy." Ed: "Can I be the sales Ed?" Eddy: "No way! You'll screw it up." Edd: "Eddy, it can't hurt!" Eddy: putting words in Ed's mouth "Ladies and gentlemen." Ed: yelling "Ladies and gentlemen!" Eddy: "Come buy a delicious." Ed: "Come buy a deciduous!" Eddy: "En-O-Gee drink." Ed: "Hello!" and Nazz walk up. Ed: them "I'm the sales Ed." Kevin: "En-O-Gee drinks?" Ed: "Here, try some!" picks up the jug and puts it through one of the sign's poles. "Oops! I got it." Eddy: "Ed!" trying to fix it, puts a foot through the stand's desk. "Ed!" stand falls over as Nazz laughs. Ed then grabs the jug in his teeth and tries to fix the stand. He only manages to break it further, and finishes up by spilling all of the drinks. Nazz: laughing "I think l'll pass." Kevin: "Real smooth, dork." both walk away Eddy: angry "ED! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?" Ed: "Drink, mister?" Eddy: his forehead "What are we going to do with you?" Edd: hyper "How about a complete image makeover?" Eddy: it "Yeah. Under my supervision, you will become the definition of cool!" sniffs the air. "Follow me, stinky." ---- is sitting in a wagon, naked. Ed: "Is sitting naked in a wagon cool?" Eddy: "No, skunk-pits, it isn't." camera zooms out to show an intricate series of ropes and pulleys designed to wash Ed. Edd: hyper, examining the stages "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Everything's ready!" hits the wagon with a baseball bat, sending Ed to the first stage. Soapy brushes proceed to cover him in soap bubbles. Edd then pushes Ed to the next stage, where a bucket of water is dumped on him. Ed: "AAH! COLD!" Eddy: off his mask "Is it safe?" Edd: his off as well "Yes!" Eddy: "Sweet!" Edd: combing his hair "Vuelah!" Ed: "Wow! Am I cool now?" Eddy: "No, you're naked. We gotta get you some new threads." ---- flips on a light in his bedroom. We are seeing his bedroom through a door. Eddy then flips on the light in the room we're in. Eddy: "Welcome to my closet of dreams!" room is revealed as a gigantic closet. "Double D, measure him up." Edd: hyper "Hold still please. Uh-huh. 154. 75." Eddy: a shirt "Hmm. Too old." Edd: Ed's head "One six." Eddy: "Hmm. Not bad." Edd: "Sixty-five." Eddy: "This'll do." heads towards them carrying clothes in his arms. Edd: up in measuring tape "Um, help!" Eddy: "Okay, gruesome, try these!" throws the clothes at Ed. ---- Edd: Eddy's bed "Woo-hoo!" Eddy: impatient "C'mon, Ed, let's see already!" steps out, dressed in the clothes Eddy chose. Eddy: "Hey, not bad!" smiles, and suddenly looks somewhat cool. ---- Eds are outside. Eddy: "Next, some cool moves." poses "Jing!" Ed: "Yeah, that's a good one!" Eddy: "Try it!" Ed: him "Ha." Eddy: "Not bad. Try this." does a knee slide. "Cool." Ed: the same move but landing on Eddy "Cool!" Eddy: out from under him "Good work!" poses again. "That's it." pulls another pose. Copying it, Ed bashes him on the head. "Ow OW!" Ed: his head to copy him "AAAHH!" Edd: reappearing with a clipboard "Bravo, Ed! I've compiled a list of supercool phrases–Oooh! That's a good one!" scribbles something down. "–that you can use in any–Oh! I'm brilliant!" writes another note. "–situation." hands Ed the sheet of paper. Eddy: "So far so good! You're ready for a test drive." ---- Eds are in the lane. Eddy: "Just stick to what we showed you, and you'll be cool." Ed: "Yep. I mean–" checks Edd's notes "I'm hip baby." Eddy: "Make me proud, big guy!" Edd: "Someone's coming!" can be heard approaching. Edd and Eddy hide in some trashcans. Jimmy: Ed, who is leaning against the fence whistling "Hello, mister!" Ed: "Swiggity swag, what's in the bag?" Jimmy: scared "ED! Is-is Eddy here?" Ed: glancing at his notes "Just me, myself and I, or I don't fly!" Jimmy: giggling "Come play with us, Ed!" Ed: "Sounds like a plan, little man!" Eddy: out "Whoa! It worked!" Edd: "Something actually worked!" Eddy: "Let's check it out." run off to check it out. ---- kids are gathered further down the lane. Jimmy: up to them "Hey, guys! Recognize this big lug?" points to Ed. The Kids: "Huh?" Jimmy: "It's Ed!" The Kids: "Hey!" Ed: "Peek-a-baloo, I see all, too." Rolf: his jacket "Ed, you look so suave." Nazz: "I like your hair Ed." Ed: "Don't smell it, just gel it." Kevin: cynical "Just what are you up to?" Ed: "5'9", give or take." plays with his earlobe. The kids all laugh. Kevin, sensing he's the odd man out, smiles and goes with the flow. Nazz: him away "C'mon, Ed, I'd love to hear more of those witty Ed-isms." Rolf: along "Ya, tell me some too, Ed." Sarah: "C'mon, Ed!" Jimmy: their wake "Tell me some too, Ed!" Kevin: "Hang with us, Ed." Eddy: observing "Wow, did you see that? They can't get enough of him!" scheming "Perfect." ---- sign, planted in a yard, reads "Meet Ed the Great! 25¢". Jonny walks by with Plank, humming a tune. They enter a shed. Eddy is just inside the door, shaking a jar full of coins. Jonny: "Hey Eddy are we late for the Ed show?" Eddy: "Not if you pay 25 cents." Jonny: a coin in the jar "Here you go, Eddy." smiles but then realizes something's wrong. Eddy: "HOLD IT! Plank forgot to pay." ---- The Kids: chanting "Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed!" Rolf: the kids continue the chant "Let me wait no longer!" Ed: out from behind the stage curtain "Hiya, folks!" kids cheer. "Waggidy-doo! I'm too hot to use in a pot! Slick me back, cause I'm happening." Edd: happy "Ed is a sellout!" Eddy: "We'll dig him for the encore." door bursts open and the Kankers walk in. Lee: "We forgot our money." Eddy: "Kankers." gasps, and the kids turn around. Ed: performing "Yabba dabba crackers!" Lee: the stage "Ooh, Ed the Great." in his face "I'm waiting." a dumbstruck Ed "Say something." May: "Yeah, say something funny!" Marie: "Funny and smart!" can't think of anything, so he pulls out his page and looks at it. Ed: the page "Um, okay. Um–" May: the piece of paper "Give me that! Yabba dabba? Hey, you're cheating!" Marie: "I like cheaters!" spins him out of his jacket into one of the curtains. Ed: "Eddy?" pulls the curtain down on himself. The kids gasp. Edd: "Oh my." Ed: "Who turned out the lights?" slaps himself on the forehead. Ed stumbles into Lee, who pushes him away. Eddy and Edd both run to stop him. Eddy: "Ed! Look out!" falls down, and Edd and Eddy run into each other. "Ed! You gotta show to do!" pulls a piece of the curtain off of Ed's head. Ed: "Hey Eddy." Eddy: he pushes Ed back to center stage "Get back out there!" falls in the middle of the stage. May: "Let us help you up." Marie: "Yeah, lets!" help him up and then rip his clothes off, effectively pantsing him. The Eds gasp, and then Lee pushes Ed back. Eddy: "Watch it!" runs into them, and they all fall into a wheelbarrow of manure. The barrow rolls forward, right in front of the kids. Sarah: "You all STINK!" Rolf: his nose "Yoy!" kids exit quickly. Ed: at his undershirt "Do you like my shirt?" Lee: "Hey, Shakespeare. Great show. Worth every penny." jingles the jar of money. Eddy: "My money!" wheelbarrow tips over. "Give it back!" Lee: her sisters in tow "Have fun in the mud, you three little piggies!" Eddy: "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" runs after them. Lee: "Thanks again." pulls the door shut, and Eddy runs into it. He then slumps to the floor, beaten. ---- Eds are outside the candy store. Ed is happy as ever, Edd is holding a block of ice to his head, and Eddy is grumpy. Eddy: "I don't believe it. All that money! All that fame! Gone." Edd: "Would you please lower your voice? Those drinks left me with a very painful headache." Ed: "Hey guys?" Eddy: grumpy "What is it Ed?" Ed: "I say, the cheese is always twice the fence post!" Eddy: "I wish I had a fence post, Ed." Category:Season 1